He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
