Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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