If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
