look no pants
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
