All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
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Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
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Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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