These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
