I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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