this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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