so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
We smell like vodka and hangover
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