my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
