Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
