hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
