Already got asked if we're dating
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
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She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
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Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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