Its about making memories worth repressing
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Randomize
