We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
