i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
