real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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