If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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