He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
