I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
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