the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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