I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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