you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Randomize
