If that was your dad, he is hot
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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