ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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