If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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