she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Just pee around me
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
