It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
