Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
