good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
