don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize