Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
