Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize