Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
