Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
