I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
