why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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