I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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