i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
