I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
