It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
