HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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