Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
