some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
