You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
