just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
