U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
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Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize