we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
