he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
