actually, I'm a sock model
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
she was so not down for the gang bang
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
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My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
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I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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