So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
