Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
