put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
