People with herpes should wear stickers.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
