You can't motorboat a personality
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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