watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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