I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
