she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
