Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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