no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
