It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
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