I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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