i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
