those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
it hurts more in the daytime
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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